Last week, it was one of those rare moments where I came face to face with my limitation. And it drew me up short because before that, I was stating my desire to become a saint WAY too easily, and much too naively. Momentarily stunned, it took me a day or two before I realized how the love of God can so easily overcome that limitation. Not that the limitation goes away, it doesn't. But that God's love can crash over a man-made dam like it's nothing. Trying to soak that in while studying for finals and writing papers was challenging, to say the least.
Switching gears: one of things that developed after going to that retreat was the invitation to join a praise band. Which I quasi-did last weekend.... rehearsals and singing for Mass and everything. It was nice being in a Korean Catholic community again. If there is one thing I've had the pleasure to witness, it was my musical gift that I've watched unfold throughout the years.
I mean, I always knew I had a thing for music. Over ten years of violin can attest to that. But vocals were never really my strong point. When I was introduced to praising six years ago, I'd get out of breath easily; hitting the uber high notes would make me literally dizzy. But as the years went by and I began to slowly make my way to the forefront of praising, I watched my singing ability improve and evolve. It is seriously miraculous. Don't get me wrong, I still miss having an instrument in my hands. My fingers now itch to play something, although I'm not sure what. But for me, praising has become yet another way I am able to draw closer to God; a way for me to recognize His presence, even when I am numb to everything. How do I know that God had a hand in my improved vocals? Just this: I never sound THAT good when I go karaoking with friends ;)
