Sing about that oh love it's a brittle madness, I sing about it in all my sadness
It's not falsified to say that I found God so
Inevitably, well it still exists so pale and fine I can't dismiss
And I won't resist and if I die well at least I tried~ Jason Mraz
Sunday, I happened to go to Mass twice, which is rare for me. I just mention it because the homily in both Masses carried the same message! Don't get so lost in the big picture that you ignore the finer details. Things like being charitable to your neighbor, like saying, "Hello!" with a broad smile, or doing the dishes in your house for once. The saints treated all their actions as little acts of love... the Benedictans have a motto of "Work and Pray" that exhorts them to turn all their daily actions into a form of prayer... St. Therese of Lisieux was famous for her "Little Way" of loving Jesus. God rarely shouts at me but when He does, I better pay attention.
And lately, I have been feeling a bit blocked... all the more so since I started the MFT program, as the stuff I learn I naturally apply to my own family-- and I tend to do so with a certain amount of resentment and bitterness. God's sounding a challenge to me and He knows I can't ignore it forever because it is an issue that IS dear to my heart. Perhaps my greatest challenge lies before me and I have yet to acknowledge it.
These struggles have drawn me more and more towards the desire to be humble. Although, I must honestly say, I can't claim that I "get" it. I think that I seem to want to wrestle with my fears down to submission first and then offering the "tamed" version of them up to God. "Tamed" versions of fear are more appealing to confront, to work with, to draw up the courage to overcome them. I don't think I'd know what to do myself if I found myself offering up a fear that can completely overwhelm me. And yet, prayer is the very act of uniting with God everything there is that makes you, you. True prayer, then, should really be a very humbling experience, as one presents his/her limitations in its entirety in order for the power of God to shine through. I've yet to do that...
I leave with you a blog entry. This man always posts things I need to hear at the right moment. It's so uncanny.
